Cherry 7-Up Guest Review

The first thing to be noticed, as you scan the fridge, is the conventional 7 UP logo spanning the can. But from there on, things get a bit unsettling.

The first assumption goes like this: 7 UP: lemonade. That’s all they’ve ever made – it’s their raison d’etere! They can get away with that because their lemonade is good – almost a touch of lemon- unlike other lemonades which say “no artificial flavour”. Bullshit, there’s flavour by the bucketload, and and it’s all sweetness. They actually think that’s a flavour.


Back to the experiment at hand – Cherry 7 UP. I call it an experiment because that word carries the inference that things aren’t quite right.. The can’s red – OK, I can handle that. Red is the colour of cherries. But also splashed across the can is the word “antioxidant”. So now I’m drinking a soda which seems to be a health food. That’s reinforced by the drink being caffeine free, but that’s just another stake in the heart for this new-comer. When have you ever tasted a caffeine free drink that’s worth the privilege of passing your lips.

Playing safe, I poured some of this soda into a glass for closer examination. I have trouble placing its colour. Is it salmon, pale orange, pissy pink? Maybe all of them, but it sure doesn’t look like what I’d expect from a cherry soda.. You can trade off such a colour for the alcohol in cheap sparlking pink wine, but this poor relative only has antioxidants and a lack of caffeine to stimulate the drinker.

Before drinking, I inhale deeply, once again to be disappointed by the fragrant yet unspecific smell. I’m even more sure that no bunch of cherries ever had much to do with the creation of this drink. The flavour convinces me of that. It finishes a little bit dry on the palate – I guess that’s the D-Alpha tocopheryl acetate. Apart from that, it offers little in the way of distinctive flavour. Coca-cola can rest easy that their cherry coke won’t be challenged in the marketplace.

The 7-Up team seems to have wasted their energy coming up with this one. Maybe they figured that if you draw a piece of fruit on the can and write a few healthy-type words then the thirsty masses would be under their spell. They needed to say it was organic and vegan as well to have any chance.

21/100

-TM

Available at Sugar Station.