F&N Groovy Grape

Smell is that thick artificial grape smell that almost all grape sodas (portello excepted- more on this ridiculously delicious grape-based soda very soon, if Riverport isn’t a household name where you come from then prepare to be wowed/I pity you) possess; no surprises there, likewise with the colour, which is dark purple to black, the classic grape soda colour I guess. Fairly decent fizz levels, based on initial visuals.

I get that it’s fermented, but how is it that grape soda is so delicious while wine is pissy and disgusting? Perhaps it’s because wine actually contains grapes? Anyhow, if wine tasted like grape sodas do I’d surely be in a different place to where I am now, most likely panhandling, purple-toothed, with my very own colony of hair lice, but thankfully most wine tastes like shit and here I am reviewing sodas for a blog and haunting grocers with names I can’t pronounce that sell things like dried anchovies and whole mock lobsters and all sorts of crazy chips and biscuits that make me wanna start a savoury snacks blog- The Wizards of Crisps perhaps? This is turning into the Wizards of Shit so I’ll move right along with the review.

The fizz is just as strong as it looks, very nice. The flavour matches the smell, grape-flavour to a tee. F&N Grape essentially tastes like any number of other grape-flavoured sodas/lollies/gum, with a few small differences:

Number One: F&N Groovy Grape isn’t as medicine-tasting as some Grape sodas I’ve had, which taste like I should’ve gotten a prescription to buy them. This is a very good thing.

Number Two: Kinda tied to the point above, this soda lacks that thick/syrupy feeling that I often worry about with strong flavours such as grape, cherry etc. Not a problem here, in fact just the opposite. This is a very good thing.

Number Three: Also tied to the previous points, overall this soda is kind of weak; it’s not so much the initial flavour, which is plenty strong enough, but rather the lack of staying power- the flavour lasts for literally three seconds, easing off after that, gone five seconds after consumption.

The first two are definitely positive, the third neither completely positive nor completely negative, two outta three isn’t bad and I feel that the thickness of grape (and cherry, and strawberry etc) is a big reason why I don’t buy these flavours more often than I do, so the fact that this isn’t a problem with F&N Groovy Grape is pretty great.

As far as packaging goes it’s pretty standard F&N fare, purple colouring to match the insides, goes well with the silver and red. I wish F&N had gone all-out with the ‘groovy’ theme and had disco balls, peace signs and all sorts of other wacky shit on the can, would’ve been pretty silly but also pretty cool. I like how F&N are resurrecting fairly dorky synonyms for great, like cool and groovy, waiting for the appearance of other classics like rad, wicked, swell, boss etc.

Overall F&N Groovy Grape lives up to its name, and is the best grape soda I’ve had due to its relative subtlety.

78/100

-LC

Available at Central Grocery .