Cherry 7-Up Guest Review

The first thing to be noticed, as you scan the fridge, is the conventional 7 UP logo spanning the can. But from there on, things get a bit unsettling.

The first assumption goes like this: 7 UP: lemonade. That’s all they’ve ever made – it’s their raison d’etere! They can get away with that because their lemonade is good – almost a touch of lemon- unlike other lemonades which say “no artificial flavour”. Bullshit, there’s flavour by the bucketload, and and it’s all sweetness. They actually think that’s a flavour.


Back to the experiment at hand – Cherry 7 UP. I call it an experiment because that word carries the inference that things aren’t quite right.. The can’s red – OK, I can handle that. Red is the colour of cherries. But also splashed across the can is the word “antioxidant”. So now I’m drinking a soda which seems to be a health food. That’s reinforced by the drink being caffeine free, but that’s just another stake in the heart for this new-comer. When have you ever tasted a caffeine free drink that’s worth the privilege of passing your lips.

Playing safe, I poured some of this soda into a glass for closer examination. I have trouble placing its colour. Is it salmon, pale orange, pissy pink? Maybe all of them, but it sure doesn’t look like what I’d expect from a cherry soda.. You can trade off such a colour for the alcohol in cheap sparlking pink wine, but this poor relative only has antioxidants and a lack of caffeine to stimulate the drinker.

Before drinking, I inhale deeply, once again to be disappointed by the fragrant yet unspecific smell. I’m even more sure that no bunch of cherries ever had much to do with the creation of this drink. The flavour convinces me of that. It finishes a little bit dry on the palate – I guess that’s the D-Alpha tocopheryl acetate. Apart from that, it offers little in the way of distinctive flavour. Coca-cola can rest easy that their cherry coke won’t be challenged in the marketplace.

The 7-Up team seems to have wasted their energy coming up with this one. Maybe they figured that if you draw a piece of fruit on the can and write a few healthy-type words then the thirsty masses would be under their spell. They needed to say it was organic and vegan as well to have any chance.

21/100

-TM

Available at Sugar Station.

Dr. Pepper Cherry

I'm always a fan of a soda in a black can and the design on this has got me pretty good. Whilst it does look very 1992, the big red cherries and Dr. Pepper logo have got my mouth watering for this one. The can also includes the line "amazingly smooth" which I sure hope isn't a false promise. High hopes.

The taste is great, it starts off with that famous "no one knows what the flavour is" Dr. Pepper flavour then moves on to a rich cherry taste that cuts off fairly quickly leaving no bad aftertaste. It's a good deep cherry flavour without any chemical overtones that normally haunt cherry sodas. Amazingly smooth wasn't just Mr. Pepper boasting, this tastes as if there is actual cream present. The aftertaste is really creamy and delicious.

The HFCS leaves a bit of a film on the back of my tongue but its not gluggy and not as bad as some. It has a nice light carbonation that suits the creamy taste.

About halfway through the can I started eating my lunch and the soda didn't fare well when coupled with food. It lost a lot of creaminess and just flavour in general, one to be had alone. Congrats Dr. Pepper, a really good venture into cherry territory that even stands up next to Jones and the other good cherry sodas out there.

87/100

-DM

Available at Supa IGA Brunswick.

Jones Cherry

So I have heard mixed things about Jones Soda, that they do some gimmicky type themed flavours, that they are all about the marketing, that their product doesn't stand up to the hype. I did a little more investigating for myself and found out the hard facts. They do a whole lot of limited run sodas, they change their label designs all the time, they use cane sugar they also let you design and buy your own labels. This may all sound like useless marketing bullshit but this time round, I don't mind. It's kind of hard to get Jones in Melbourne and at some point I might be jaded enough to turn down a casserole flavoured soda but for now I'm just gonna go with it and caught up in the whimsical world of Jones.

Asthetically, the bottle looks like what it is, a hip, independant soda company, complete with ever-changing black & white photo. The soda has a nice deep red colour and the whole package looks pretty damn good. It has the smell of a typical cherry drink, your average Cherry Coke type deal. All pretty standard issue so far, but wait, just wait for the taste my friends. The closest thing I can compare it to is some sort of musical symphony. It starts out quietly with barely any mouth taste then it builds into a crescendo of a flavour that is a mix between normal cherry soda flavour and real cherries, then the aftertaste takes over and slowly fades out to nothing over the next 25 seconds or so. No lingering taste, just an awesome experience. Then, just when you thought it was all over, just as the aftertaste has gone, my mouth starts watering, really wanting another mouthfull. I thought it must have been just because it was such a delicious drink that I wanted more, but then it happened again, and again. Just as the flavour fades my mouth starts watering and I desperately want another drink. I don't know what kind of crack Jones is putting in their soda but I don't care because it certainly makes for a tasty beverage.

This was one of the best sodas I have tasted in my life thus far and I've only had one bottle but I'm a full blown Jones soda convert. I can't wait to taste more.

91/100

-DM

Available at Sugar Station.

Diet Black Cherry Shasta

I think when I first spotted this soda I was distracted by its amazing 80s style can design and black cherry flavour when I should have noticed a few (really noticeable) red flags on the can.

1. DIET in huge letters. After this I feel like imposing a blanket “no diet” rule on all future reviews. Still never had a diet soda I have enjoyed.

2. Flavoured with Splenda. I suppose there is worse stuff that you could put in a drink but this makes for a heinous aftertaste.

3. Caffeine Free. Not that this is really a problem but coupled with the other things listed above, it doesn’t help, the least this soda could do is give me a kick to give me the energy to reach for the noose like you invariably want to do after downing this stuff. Harsh. Probably undeserved.

So you probably get the feeling that I don’t like the soda, in truth it’s not sooo bad, but its definitely not good either. It’s just bland, with no outstanding flavours, pretty much just Diet Coke in cherry flavour. At first crack, the smell is really good, a nice strong cherry scent. After tasting it though, the cherry flavour is really weak, more of a “with a hint of cherry” than a standalone cherry drink. The only thing I could taste through the whole drink was that typical chemical diet soda taste, every diet soda has it, foul and artificial. It hides while your actually drinking but then sneaks up on you right after, and stays FOREVER.

Overall this soda feels like something good (a black cherry soda) shrouded in a lot of bad (shitty diet chemicals, splenda). I wouldn't buy this again I will judge everyone who does.

38/100

-DM

Available at Bargain Depot Supermarket, Brunswick.